Aug 2, 2006

Problem with Pride

I have a huge problem with pride. I want to be right, I want people think I’m smart, I want to sound smart and I want people to like me because I’m smart. Stupid, isn’t it. So when my husband started questioning some of my beliefs, I got really mad. And it wasn’t justified anger; it was prideful anger, the kind that leads to sin. I wanted him to believe ME more than I wanted him to believe God's truth.

Pride is something I am constantly battling. And what’s hilarious is that sometimes I don’t even recognize it. For instance, we were at a prayer meeting and all I could think was, “Everyone’s looking at me. They all think I’m ugly.” And instead of turning from those thoughts, I walked out of the church and sat in my car until it was over.

I’ve had a history of panic attacks and I am very afraid of people. One of the first verses I memorized was Isaiah 2:22 “Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; for why should he be esteemed?”

I was speaking with my friend about this. Remember how Nathan rebuked David? I know that God rebukes and instructs us not only through His Word, but also through His children. She said, “Why do we think, “Everyone must be looking at me” Why would they be? What makes us think that we are so special that everyone must be looking at us? Do you realize it’s an inward form of pride?”

I hadn’t. And the very reason God gave her the grace to say that to me is worthy of His praise. Sometimes we sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, thinking we just need more esteem to be a better follower of Christ. Hopefully you realize that that’s not the truth. The truth is, the only confidence we need is in Christ. And when we start sulking and trying to esteem “me” we put ourselves in front of Christ. And this is a very dangerous thing to do!


Stan said...

So true. Pride underlies most of our sin, and anyone who denies that they struggle with pride is likely struggling with pride when they deny it.

dr_bristow said...

Thanks for sharing that...I can totally relate...I too so often feel that I HAVE TO be right all the time, think of myself as way more important than I really am, etc. Thank you for the very important reminder that it's all about Christ, NOT all about me. :)

Gina Burgess said...

I believe God is telling me something. This is the 3rd time I've heard this subject brought up this week. It is my prayer that God will burn up the pride in my heart. I wish so deeply to be humble and give Him all the glory!

Julianne said...

My dear Samantha:

I cried when I read this. You are so beautiful inside and out. If only you could see you through my eyes!

As for your pride, I am so blessed by your honesty, but I have to say that I have seen you overcome it in so many ways over the last year. I am so encouraged by your amazing growth fueled by your desire to know Christ intimately.

I miss you much dear sister and I am so pleased that God is still the longing of your heart!

Sending you a sisterly hug, Julianne

theophilus said...

I like this post (site, too), and its honesty. Keep it up. I followed your link from PB.

I think the lesson Jesus kept trying to drive home to us was this:

Develop a High view of God (from both the Word, and fellowship with Him)

A proper view of God will shape our perspectives, beliefs and consequently, our behaviour.

re: fear of man, "Do not fear man who can kill the body, but rather fear Him who can throw both body and soul in Hell" This fits the remedy, above.

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